This phrase tickles me. I’ve heard it so many times. Some people really meant it while others did not. I guess they liked how it sounded but obviously did not mean it. That phrase, “I’m an open book,” is one that people should really be careful with. Even if you say this to someone who is close to you. If you have trust issues with anyone (I mean ANYONE), I recommend not saying you’re an open book.
I’ll be the first to admit, I am not an open book. With my husband, I’m about 95% open book. I’ve striving to get to 100% because that other 5% has more to do with personal development. Anyway, I’m not sure what his percentage is but I’m sure it’s not 100% either. I don’t purposely hide information from my husband. In fact, I’ll tell him more about my personal issues than he’ll tell me about his. Guys don’t talk much until they’re ready – and that’s cool. I will text my husband a TMI message at any point of the day but hey, that’s me! LOL! But outside of an intimate relationship, I’m not an open book. I have various entry ways that I filter people through. If you think of a house – not everyone can come into my yard. And even once you’re allowed in my yard, you may not be allowed to come through the front door. Even if you come through the front door, you may not be allowed to come upstairs. I think you get picture. That’s who I am, and I’ll admit at first I thought something was wrong with me for being that way. But there’s not. The truth is, I’ll meet you in the yard, at the door, or wherever. And I have no problem telling you’re only allowed to be in a certain area of my life. It doesn’t mean I don’t consider you a friend. It also doesn’t mean I don’t love you. I may not trust you, but I’ll love you no matter what.
I believe being an open book to everyone requires being vulnerable all the time. I personally don’t have the energy or interest being vulnerable all the time. I’m an introvert and I like my moments of being in my ‘space’ by myself. I’m not depressed or lonely. I just like my personal space. Even when we tell our spouse that we are an open book to them, it requires being vulnerable way more than we realize. We can’t question our spouse when they start to ‘read’ those pages or try to tear out the page and say, ‘not that one’. Then you’re not an open book. I remember during our courtship, I wrote a small book for my now husband. It was about me. It talked about my childhood, past mistakes and everything that led me up to meeting him. Not sure if he if still got it or if he read all of it. LOL! But the reason I did that was to signify the open book concept. I’ve never done that for anybody else in my life. Also, I wanted him to know that I was willing to love him unconditionally.
I believe the main idea of being an ‘open book’ is to love unconditionally. I mean, some of us have a tough time being an open book to ourselves. We don’t even want to deal with our own crazy stuff most of the time. We can get on our own nerves. LOL! But seriously, I know that finding that unconditional love is difficult. Some men don’t believe their wives loves them unconditionally; and vice versa. Some best friends don’t love unconditionally. I love my best friend unconditionally. I love my husband unconditionally. I’m learning daily how to love everyone unconditionally. Why? Because it’s hard enough in this world. (I bet most of you all thought I was going say because God is love --- Ha! --- just kidding) Honestly, I have found it takes more energy to be judgmental, to backbite, to gossip, to envy, and all that immature stuff than it does to just love. Maybe I’m getting lazier as I get older, I don’t know. But I still believe what the whole Bible says about life and that includes loving unconditionally. We have issues and I need all my energy to overcome my own issues versus wasting my energy on immature habits. So, if you really desire to be an open book, consider seeking after those individuals who will love you unconditionally versus saying you want to be an open book.
I'd like to know how you all feel about the phrase of "I'm an open book". Maybe what people really mean to say is, "what you see is what you get." Leave your comments below! :-)
As a Christian wife, author, and evangelist, I want to love and help others to enjoy life! I offer tips, empowerment, and more on my blog! Be sure to follow me on FB & Twitter to stay up-to-date!
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