Those are the words God spoke to me in 2019. After 3 years of not praying about trying to conceive because my husband and I were tired from the emotional roller coaster.
Our angel, Charlotte Evelina, was stillborn August 23, 2013. Afterwards, we did try again. But the more we tried, the worst our emotions became due to all the infertility issues, doctors’ recommendations, and more. Finally, we stopped. We did not even talk about it for months. We were tired! (Click 'Read More' to continue...)
"Oh, just keep praying, daughter..."
"OH, the Lord is going do it any day now..."
"OH, have you tried fasting?"
"OH, try reciting this prayer..."
"OH, you know Abraham and Sarah's story, don't you?!?!"
I can go on, but I am sure y'all feel me by now. I am not mocking these phrases nor am I saying they cannot be encouraging. I am just sharing because I know how many of us feel most days when it comes to trying to conceive. Not only did we endure stillbirth with our first child, but we also struggled with fertility issues trying to conceive. I will not lie it is a true journey of walking by faith and not by sight. (Click 'Read More' to continue...)
There are so many challenges in life. These challenges may cause our minds to try and point fingers of blame. Due to the frustrations and uncertainties, it is a natural response to try and fine fault somewhere.
With the tragedy of stillbirth, it is no different. We go to God and ask him so many questions. Due to His gentleness and meekness, we often interpret his response as silence. The truth is God is never silent. However, we naturally expect an audible or tangible response from God. But when that does not occur, we fall into the lie that it must be our fault.
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I have always known that black women are more likely to experience pregnancy loss than other women in other racial categories. I have never taken the time to pull some stats, but I recently did, and it caused me to feel various emotions.
I am sharing the two basic images I pulled from the Star Legacy Foundation; a non-profit organization that is helping raise awareness concerning pregnancy loss. These show the racial demographics on stillbirth. (Click 'Read More' to continue, if necessary.)
I desire to help encourage and support women during their time of trying to conceive and if they experience the tragedy of stillbirth. When I experienced stillbirth, the best advice I received: Be Human. I hope to help Christian women recognize the importance of being human in order to process our emotions. When we admit we are weak, God is able to be faithful and be God. If we be human, then God can be God.