The moment we knew we were pregnant with Charlotte, I officially embraced the divine calling of motherhood. Ever since doctor's told me at the age of 14 (while undergoing chemotherapy) how my chances of becoming pregnant would decrease drastically as I entered my 30s, I always had that inner prayer request about becoming a mother.
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Then when Charlotte was stillborn, I had questions (a LOT of questions, as you can imagine). One of them included how would my motherhood journey be with an angel. I never once eliminated or denied my calling of motherhood because Charlotte's soul was in heaven versus walking along side me in a physical body. Then God allowed me to recognize all motherhood journeys are unique. Although many mothers can offer tips and support, the best way to know what to do for your motherhood journey is seek God so He can tell you about the soul He allowed you to help raise. Besides, He is the One who formed the child in your worm (Psalm 139:13). Who else better knows how to raise him/her?
To my mothers of angels, it is not "crazy" to embrace motherhood if you have an angel(s). In fact, some of you reading this now have the miracle "rainbow" child(ren) after pregnancy loss. Others who are reading this who just experienced pregnancy lost and/or trying to conceive the "rainbow" baby, you are a mother! I encourage you do not feel unworthy, embarrassed, or ignorant because your child is now an angel. Know that your current journey is unique, and God will make His promises manifest in your life if you believe! Does this mean you will feel like praying every night for a "rainbow" baby? No, you will not. Should you pray every night for a "rainbow" baby? Not exactly. God knows what you will say before you even speak it (Psalm 139:4, Matt. 6:8). If the desire is there, it is ok to pray about more than just that topic. You do not have to be repetitive with certain topics; especially if you find yourself overwhelmed to keep praying about it.
In the meantime, seek ways to gain fulfillment in your motherhood journey. Remember and celebrate your angel in special ways. As you gain more faith and strength, support other mothers with angels. Celebrate Mother's Day with joy! Believe me, I know that will take time and some prefer not to celebrate Mother's Day quite the same after a pregnancy loss. However, I encourage you to grow in faith and know you are worthy of joy EVERY DAY! This includes Mother's Day!
You are a wonderful mother, and I am proud of you!! Love you!
Question: As a mother of an angel, do you feel your motherhood is unique? Why or why not? Share your comments below because I would love to hear from you!
I desire to help encourage and support women during their time of trying to conceive and if they experience the tragedy of stillbirth. When I experienced stillbirth, the best advice I received: Be Human. I hope to help Christian women recognize the importance of being human in order to process our emotions. When we admit we are weak, God is able to be faithful and be God. If we be human, then God can be God.